Compromise

Approximately 9 years ago, my hubby and I were in pre-marital counseling. Of course at the ripe age of 19 & 21, we really didn't think we 'needed' it, but to make everyone else happy we faithfully attended our sessions. After a few compatibility tests, our councillor/pastor informed us that throughout our marriage we would have two major issues that would constantly be a source of tension for us. Only two? Wow, I can deal with that, I thought. I figured that we were doing pretty good at this counseling thing and looking for my gold star. So bracing ourselves, we asked what those two issues would be. 

1. Our Families

2. Food

What?!! Food?!!! Ok, I get Family. Who doesn't have an issue integrating into another persons family and then adapting to how they were raised. Family is an obvious. But FOOD?!?!?!! How in the world would that be a problem? We both love to eat... end of story. At that point we both put that one behind us, chuckling as we walked out of the office. 

Now, after being married for almost 8 years, I am constantly haunted by that day in our councilors office. Surprisingly enough, 'food' has been quite the issue for us. In one of my earlier blogs, I talked about how my genes blessed me with the ability to store fat... and quite well in fact. If anyone has ever met my husband, they know it is impossible for him to gain weight. My hubby is a male version of the girls we love to hate. You know the ones... they eat whatever they want: chocolate, fast food, ice cream, creamy pasta and HEAPS of it... and complain that they can never gain weight. Oh boo hoo. 

Our first year of marriage was a total example of our "Food" issue. I was so happy to not need to fit into a wedding dress anymore that I ate right along with my hubby, as much and whatever I wanted. I also gained like 15lbs.... which soon turned into 30lbs and eventually into over 40lbs. And the hubby? He lost weight. YUP! LOST WEIGHT!!! And guess who was to blame for NOT feeding him enough? (That would be a good example of our "Family" issues... ).

Since that time I have learned how to eat to maintain a healthy, BMI friendly figure... but its tough and I have to really work at it. Of course I have my binge days as I am a true believer in balance and enjoyment. In the process of learning what to and what not to eat... I have changed what and how I cook. I am the main cook in the family, so by default that gives me the authority to pick and choose what we will or will not be eating. This has not sat well with the hubby. He loves his red meat, white bread, cheez whiz, cream sauces, deep fried & battered food along with ice cream and various sweets. Don't get me wrong, he eats veggies and loves salads too. But after so long of eating chicken, turkey, fish, veggies and more veggies... he finally had enough. We had a nice, long, loud 'discussion' about our "Food" issues and finally came to a compromise.

I would give him a small portion of the budget and he could pick whatever he wanted to cook, on the weekends.

At first, it was really hard for me to relinquish control of the kitchen. If you know me, you know I control the kitchen (among other things). But the payoff of not having to cook 3 days a week... well, it was kind of worth it. And so far, it hasn't been that tough to lay on the couch or play with the child while he slaves away... it has given me a perspective of what it must be like for him...the other 5 days of the week :)

He has done really well so far, making some fairly tasty (not all calorie conscious) meals. It has given him some sense of control while creating an opportunity to cook what he's really been craving. So for my "Not So Wordless Wednesday" post, I present you with a few snapshots of the last meal he created.... with a little help from Costco ;) It tasted wonderful as I was starving after teaching a class all day... Creamy pasta & garlic toast is the ultimate comfort food!

(And of course, a large salad to make me feel good about eating creamy pasta and bread.)

If you are lucky, maybe you can come have a weekend meal with us sometime!

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