NMM: Eli Edition

(did not...read: might have, probably...most certainly did. "Not me"...read: ok, so it was.)

The past week has not been all that exciting for me, but for Eli... it has been a blast. I thought I might as well let him have the "Not Me Monday" this week, as his stories are WAY better than mine.

So here it is, "Not Me Monday": Eli Edition

*It was not me who stealthily dragged the kitchen chair up to the counter while Mommy was in the living room on the computer. Or reading one of her darned books. I was not curious at all about what would happen if I did not put the large rubber band ball (this super amazing ball made entirely out of rubber bands!) on top of the toaster. It was not me who then pushed that fascinating lever up and down, up and down. It was not Mommy who came screeching into the kitchen once she smelt that weird, rubbery, burning smell. NOT ME!

*It is most DEFINITELY not me who found the really really really big tupperware container full of SUGAR in the pantry cupboard. I do not know how the door keeps opening, and it is not me who keeps grabbing handfuls of sugar. It does not taste good at all! I definitely do not smile at Mommy with my best sugary grin and say "SUGAR!" when she finds me. NOT ME!

*It was not me who decided I was bored playing with my blocks in my room after Mommy decided to not go back to bed. It was not me who trucked downstairs looking for something to eat by myself. I did not find the 2kg bag of CHOCOLATE chips in the cupboard. It was not the most amazing thing I have ever found. I did not then go upstairs to show Mommy what she was missing out on 'cus she couldn't drag her lazy butt out of bed. I did not wake her up, covered in chocolate, smiling and saying "CHOCOLATE!". NOT ME!

*I am not dreadfully opposed to the potty. It was not me who really really needed to poo and I did not hold it in every time Mommy mentioned that horrible "P" word. It was not Daddy who let me run naked, distracting me with Veggie Tales, while he was not on Facebook. It was most defintely not me who pooped out the largest log of poo I have ever seen. It definitely was not on the area rug, either. NOT ME!