Not Me Messy Monday

Since I was a child, Sunday morning was always hectic. There has been very few Sunday mornings in my lifetime that were relaxed and lazy, unless we skipped church, which we would NEVER do. Sunday morning has always been full of yelling, running around, getting everyone organized and into the car... off to church we go... one big happy family, right?! 

This past Sunday morning, I had decided to definitely not skip church. The Husband had to play drums and had to be there early in the morning for practice, and stay until the last note was sung. He did not call me just before the first service to say that he could come pick us up in between services. I did not agree to that plan, knowing full well that I only had an hour to get myself and The Child ready.

If you know me at all, you know that I am definitely the most on time and punctual person. Ahem.

So our Sunday morning turned from a relaxing, pajama morning, into the Sunday mornings of my childhood. I did not proceed to hop in the shower, leaving The Child completely unattended... downstairs... to not do whatever he pleased. I definitely do not do this on a regular basis.

Just as I was finishing up in the shower, The Child entered the bathroom, without pajama bottoms.

Me: "Hi sweetie, what happened to your pants? Did you go potty?"

The Child: "Yip!"

Me: "Did you go pee in the potty?"

The Child: "Yip!"

He did not proceed to turn around to leave the bathroom, and I did not notice the large smear of poo running up the back of his leg.

Me: "Did you go poop in the potty, too? Or in your pants?"

The Child: "Yip!"

Me: "Well, which one?"

The Child: "Yip!"

Ok, obviously The Child was a plethora of answers and it was at that moment I knew I had to do some Sunday morning poop investigating of my own. I quickly grabbed a towel and headed downstairs. As I ran jiggled my way down the stairs, I was definitely not hit with the wonderful smell of feces half way down the stairs. Awesome. Now to figure out where the culprit poo is hiding. As I rounded the last set of stairs, I did not see the Sunday morning poop disaster. There on the stairs, which are not carpeted, was a large brown spot. Laying on the floor beside the stairs was not The Child's pajama bottoms, full of poop. He had definitely not smeared poop all over the floor in an attempt to take off his bottoms. As I let out a huge sigh of awesomeness, The Child did not clap and laugh at his accomplishment of going poop. I did not carry him at arms length up the stairs to put him in the bath. I previously had not used up all the hot water during my shower and The Child definitely did not sit in a cool cold bath for the next 20 minutes as I attacked the Sunday morning poop disaster. 

If you were to walk into my house at that exact moment, you would not have found a naked, crazy haired, frazzled looking Mama, madly scrubbing poop out of the carpet on the stair, and a very happy toddler sitting playing in a cold bath. Nope, not me!

In case you were wondering, we did make it to church on time. Thankfully, The Husband was home a few minutes before schedule and was able to dress and feed the child, while I changed from crazy, naked Mama... into calm, cool, and hawt looking Mama. 

I have learned a lesson this week. There are some periods of time that you should just not leave your child alone. Of course, like I mentioned before, I never leave him unattended. One afternoon, I was not upstairs doing my wifely duties of folding laundry, cleaning, organizing, beautifying... when I came downstairs to find the child and my kitchen not looking like this:

That is definitely not the Costco sized box of Baking Soda all over my pantry cupboard and kitchen floor. The Child was definitely not being creative and drawing designs with his fingers all in the piles of Baking Soda. *Sigh* It was not me that found the situation so ridiculous that I did not laugh uncontrollably. Or take pictures. Nope, Not me!

PS. Apparently he felt like he had to live up to what is written on his tshirt....as it does not say

"100% good     10% of the time"!