Not My Child Monday

The super genius and fabulous MckMama over at My Charming Kids has come up with a little twist on our classic NMM...

Not MY CHILD Monday

Its brazzilliant! One of my very first NMM's was a similar idea. You can read more about that here.

Somehow, somewhere, The Child has learned that a big belly means that there is a baby inside. (I know right now you are thinking... "Oh no... I remember when my little Jonny pointed to the 'extra healthy' woman at the grocery store, yelling loudly for all to hear... ". Thankfully, this isn't one of those moments. Although, I have a sickening feeling in my stomach that it will happen soon. I love that toddlers have absolutely no social filter.)

The other day we were lounging around the living room and The Child was drinking heaps and heaps of water, thanks to Grandmas super cool water bottle. Shortly after, I pointed to his belly (which was completely extended) and said:

"Child, look at how big your belly is! All that water is sloshing around!"

He of course, did not reply, "No, Mommy. There's a baby in there!"

"No, honey. Only Mommy's have babies in their tummies."

He did not walk up to me (I was laying on the couch), poke my boob and say,

"Look, Mommy has a baby in her nipple!!"

Nope, not my child!

Last week while the Grandparents were visiting we happened to trek downtown to take in the annual Capital Ex Parade (which is literally the most boring and underwhelming parade you will ever see. Not sure why kids enjoy it, as it was really just a bunch of politicians in cars. Whooo hooo. Maybe if they threw candy I would vote for them.)

The Child really did enjoy the whole spectacle, from the bag pipes, to the marching bands, to the cars and fire trucks. We did not see the effect of his enjoyment of said parade until the next day while driving in the van. He did not randomly start wailing at the top of his lungs, mimicking the sound of the old-fashioned fire truck horn. "Weeeeeehhoooooooooooohoohhhh."

He did not continue to repeat this wonderful noise over and over and over, until I vowed that that was the last parade he will ever see.

The Child is a very easy going kid. I am scared to have another as it most likely will not be as easy has he has been. His two's weren't so terrible, and so far his three's have been a blast. But one thing they don't warn you about is the attitude that comes with a three-year old. It is a really good look into the future when he is 13. I am beginning to prepare myself now.

Recently, The Child has gained a huge sense of independence along with the attitude. I find the combination quite hilarious on a daily basis. He did not inform me the other day that he had different plans than what we were presently doing. The conversation went a little like this:

Child: "I am NOT going home. (we were driving home from the store)

Mommy, YOU go home, I AM going to the SHOW! HUMPH!"

(complete with dramatic crossing of the arms)

Me: "Child, you can't go to the show yourself, how would you get there?"

The Child: "YES! I am GOING to the SHOW!

NEVER, no not EVER going home! HUMPH!"

(again, dramatically crossing the arms)

Me: "Okay then, I guess you are going to the show. But you're going to have to walk there, 'cus Mommy is going home."

Child: "That's RIGHT! I am GOING to the SHOW!

NOT going HOME! HUMPH!"

(again, crossing the arms for dramatic emphasis)

Seriously? Where does he learn such things? And how much do you want to bet that I will be having the exact SAME conversation ten years from now, only I'm sure I will be driving him there and having to shell out the cash. SIGH. Nope, Not MY CHILD!