The other week, I was (in the famous words of Fergie) "...up in the gym, just workin' on my fitness..", with some... technical difficulties. That day, I had unfortunately chose the absolute worst pair of underwear from my collection to wear. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to inconspicuously remove travelling undergarments from places that they shouldn't be, while in a public place. This problem isn't just about travelling underwear, its also about what is socially acceptable to do about it. Everyone gets wedgies, its a fact. Whatever type of pants or underwear you are wearing, they will slowly make their way into the natural cracks of your body. There must be scientific research on this topic and if not, well, someone should master in the study of the physics of a wedgie. It could be groundbreaking, don't you think?
We all know the tricks of the wedgie-picking trade. Wherever you are, back up slowly against the nearest wall as naturally as possible, and remove. Or a simple pants adjustment sometimes distracts whomever you are with, enabling you to remove. Or just be shameless and pick it out. We all have our ways and we are all ok with it.
What does not seem to be socially acceptable for women, is picking the wedgie out of the frontal region. Most men, (I am generalizing) adjust their frontal areas as needed. Again, one of those things that when done inconspicuously and well, is fairly unnoticeable. Sometimes, it is noticeable.. and funny, but I'm not a man, I don't know the struggle. I have a feeling though and am sure that if someone studied the physics of the wedgies vs. the sexes, they would discover that for a woman, it is much more complicated.
So imagine, workin' on your fitness... running, squatting, lunging...whatever it may be, and your damn underwear keeps moving into the places it should not be. How do you inconspicuously remove it? Would it not seem odd to face a wall, or to have to run to the washroom every few minutes, or squat behind a large object.. is there really a successful way? Or are we just doomed to wait it out, counting the minutes until our workout is done, and vow never to wear that one pair of underwear again.
I am sure that if I did my research, I would find 'wedgie-proof' underwear perfect for working out. But here's my problem.. the financial investment it could take to find that perfect pair of underwear is just not worth it to me. Everyone must have a favorite pair and an opinion, but every body is so different. What may work for you, doesn't work for me. So how many times do I have to put out $20 here... $30 there... on one pair... just to realize that it doesn't work either. Say I do find the perfect pair, with my luck, they probably cost around $50, then I would have to buy at least 4 or 5 pairs to sustain my fitness regime. That chunk of cash has to come from somewhere..."I'm sorry children, its tuna surprise again tonight, but momma is wedgie-free!".
There is the commando option. When it comes to tight, spandex workout pants... that option makes me a wee bit uncomfortable in more ways than one.
What's a girl to do? Do we spend our children's milk money to find those perfect panties? Do we just suck it up and access our creativity for inconspicuous frontal adjusting? Or do we just go for it, shamelessly fix ourselves, and enjoy the rest of the workout wedgie free?
Yes, mom. I just wrote an entire blog post about my underwear. I'm sorry.
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