Flashback Fridays!!!.... er, um... Saturday!!

11.13.95

Dear Diary,

Well, I figured I better start some form of a journal, and if you are nosy person and want to read this please don't! If I want to show you these things in here, I will, but otherwise keep your nose out please! Thank-you.

Anyway, I had a really awesome dream last night and *Doug was in it. I gave him a big hug and it felt sooo nice. I miss him a lot even if he is a jerk. :)

School today wasn't really school. We came at a normal time, had opening exercises, and our report cards were handed out. I didn't do to bad. We then had a Merrit Sale. That was pretty fun. I got a pair of LCA shorts, material, and a free horse ride with *Mrs. Wask. It should be pretty fun I guess. Me and *Tina are going to go together. Then after that I went to *Janie's for most of the day. We basicly sat around and watched T.V. But we came up with an awesome idea for *Kerry's Bd. Which is on Dec 1st. We are planning a huge surprise party for her. I think it will be cool. And *Norman will be helping us with most of it. (He's soooo cool!) Anyway I hope it will work. Then *Janie came over to my house and we dressed up reall funky and took a pic. I was dressed up like a home boy and *Janie was decked out in a half 60/70's thing with Richard Simmons thrown in there somewhere too. It was pretty cool. We then walked through the rain and over to the *Hamley's. Thankfully enough only *Rachel and *Kerry were there.

Well they got a kick out of us and a good laugh. Me and *Janie decided to be daring and call *Norman, to tell him about this Richard Simmons thing (past). He picked up the phone and as soon as he realized who it was, he laughed and put the phone on the counter. Well I feel like a complete idiot now. I don't think I'll ever be able to talk to him again! Anyway I think he likes *Rachel and visa versa.

Oh well, I've never been much of a boy catcher. I don't know why either.
One day, I guess, one day :)

Wordless Wednesday: The Word Edition

I am not as exhausted as I should be for being at a birth for most of the night last night. But I did have a very lazy, sleepy day... doing a whole lot of nothing. Just the bare essentials, like feeding myself and the child. So to keep up with the Wordless Wednesday tradition, I am posting a link to the fabulous Becky's blog. Her Wordless Wednesday puts into pictures the absolute perfect description of my doula work. Check it out! She is the most beautiful pregger I have ever seen!

http://beckywspot.blogspot.com/

NMM: Eli Edition

(did not...read: might have, probably...most certainly did. "Not me"...read: ok, so it was.)

The past week has not been all that exciting for me, but for Eli... it has been a blast. I thought I might as well let him have the "Not Me Monday" this week, as his stories are WAY better than mine.

So here it is, "Not Me Monday": Eli Edition

*It was not me who stealthily dragged the kitchen chair up to the counter while Mommy was in the living room on the computer. Or reading one of her darned books. I was not curious at all about what would happen if I did not put the large rubber band ball (this super amazing ball made entirely out of rubber bands!) on top of the toaster. It was not me who then pushed that fascinating lever up and down, up and down. It was not Mommy who came screeching into the kitchen once she smelt that weird, rubbery, burning smell. NOT ME!

*It is most DEFINITELY not me who found the really really really big tupperware container full of SUGAR in the pantry cupboard. I do not know how the door keeps opening, and it is not me who keeps grabbing handfuls of sugar. It does not taste good at all! I definitely do not smile at Mommy with my best sugary grin and say "SUGAR!" when she finds me. NOT ME!

*It was not me who decided I was bored playing with my blocks in my room after Mommy decided to not go back to bed. It was not me who trucked downstairs looking for something to eat by myself. I did not find the 2kg bag of CHOCOLATE chips in the cupboard. It was not the most amazing thing I have ever found. I did not then go upstairs to show Mommy what she was missing out on 'cus she couldn't drag her lazy butt out of bed. I did not wake her up, covered in chocolate, smiling and saying "CHOCOLATE!". NOT ME!

*I am not dreadfully opposed to the potty. It was not me who really really needed to poo and I did not hold it in every time Mommy mentioned that horrible "P" word. It was not Daddy who let me run naked, distracting me with Veggie Tales, while he was not on Facebook. It was most defintely not me who pooped out the largest log of poo I have ever seen. It definitely was not on the area rug, either. NOT ME!

Flashback Fridays!!!

I've been thinking a lot lately about this Blog thing. It's been fun these past few weeks, trying to come up with something creative, funny, sarcastic ;) every other day. A fabulous escape for my brain when the child is freaking out because I didn't mash the banana to the perfect consistency, and now there are chunks in his cereal. While on this wonderful escape, I started to think about the origins of Blogging. Back in the day when the computer was a gigantic machine in some big military office somewhere and the internet was just some crazy idea. I may not know my history very well, but I do remember the days when there wasn't a household computer. The days of putting a real pen to paper to write letters and document our day to day lives in a journal. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the stack of journals stashed in my hope chest probably contained my best Blog entries yet. So every Friday, I am going to dig out an entry, bare my soul to the internet world and share my prehistoric blogs. Don't worry, all names will be changed* to protect those that were in the original writings... unless you are 'Mom & Dad', can't really change those. I also will not correct any of the original grammar or spelling.
Today is a special post, as I will not only be sharing a journal entry from 1992, but I also found a note from my husband from when we were engaged. It was too funny to not share:)

March 13, 1992

Dear Diary,
I know, I know! I haven't wrote in a month But you know the same old exuse "TO BUSY!" Well I have bad news and good news first the Bad news: Today Mr. Frellinkading* died of cancer! Wa Wa Woe. The Night before he died he was going through his worst, he had a semi coma and he was turning gray and then he died! And also my grandpa is in the hospital he has a infection in his lungs but my Grandma says not to worry and finaly the good news My Mom Had A Girl on Feb 21st It's a girl her name is Kelly Jan Micheline*!!

A tribute to 1990's fashion

Now, the note from my wonderful hubby:

To My Skateboard Betty (Skyla)

How much do I love thee, let me count the ways. So many there are...
Your as beautiful as the Northern Star.

Have a good night's sleep and dream about me.

Love you so very much my princess and soon to be Queen.

Lots of kisses with the tongue, lots of hugs while touching your bum.

-Prince Jared

Welcome to the Snapshow- 2.0!

I think the only person that didn't find my 'Snapshow' blog funny, was my poor husband. Apparently, all the things that make me snap are about him and his quirks. I never specifically stated this, but I suppose if the glove fits....

Needless to say, I did feel a little pang of guilt when he looked at me with his big, bambi eyes and whined that all the internet world now knew how horrible of a husband he was. (Again, I didn't name names!) This got me to thinking of all the wonderful things that he (and others do) that help keep the Snapshow under wraps.

Here are my Snapshow Antidotes:

1. My fabulous husband is a morning person and enjoys coffee. This serves me well on weekends!

2. Listening to my fabulous husband put the child to sleep. He sings the best bedtime songs.

3. Watching my fabulous husband play drums, fabulously.

4. The look on my child's face when I pick him up from the YMCA's babysitting.

5. Family snuggles in bed after bathtime.

6. Hugs

7. Starbucks

8. Laughing

9. Lululemon

10. Getting out of the house with the best girlfriends for drinks, movies, coffee, shopping...




Feel free to add to my Antidote list!!

Wordless Wednesday

What I am reading VS. What I should be reading

It's time for......

(did not...read: might have, probably...most certainly did. "Not me"...read: ok, so it was.)

*I did not go to Eli's room when he was awake from his nap, and I did not smell the most disgusting poopy diaper stench wafting through the door. I most definitely did not turn around, go downstairs and find my poor husband. I did not pull the "He's calling for Daddy" card and I did not snicker to myself when my poor husband walked through Eli's door and gagged as he had to change the disgusting diaper. NOT ME!

*I did not see half-price Halloween candy at the store and I did not think to myself how great that little bag of Smarties would be for potty treats. It was not me who hid the bag in the pantry and it was not me who ate the entire bag over the next few days. NOT ME!

*It was not me who took an extra long look at the semi-hot guy at the gym with the strategically tight jogging pants and shirt. NOT ME!

Welcome to the Snapshow!

Every couple of weeks, I reach the "Had it up to here!!!" point. You know, that one (or many) fateful days where you totally open up a can of "Snapshow" and let everyone within a 5 mile radius have it?! Often, I can feel the "Snapshow" brewing... a couple of days of a low simmer. A few deep breaths seem to curb it for the moment (Good thing I teach pain-coping and breathing practices!). At this point, I also check the calender, just to see if it's a real "Snapshow" or a "Hormone-Induced Snapshow".
(That's right ladies, you know what I'm talking about. I'm sure your husbands/boyfriends/roommates/children do, too!)
If it's the "H.I.SS" then at least I can warn the other occupants of my house... "The Hormones are rising!! Take cover while you still can!!" (Did you ever watch the cartoon "Katie Ka-boom" when you were a kid? Ya, that's me.) If it is a H.I.SS, there is really nothing you can do about it except yell, throw a few things, and sit down for a good long cry... washing it all down with large glass of red. It may be terrible, but it is usually over quick.
If it is just the good ol'regular SS brewing, it can be a bit easier to control. Often keeping it at bay for a few more weeks... then you can combine it with your anticipated H.I.SS fest. Those are fun days! But there are just a few things that can set me over the edge if I have been holding my SS at a slow simmer for a long time. Usually just silly, little things.. but they are the pin in my grenade of Snapshow.

1. Almost empty juice, milk, water, any beverage containers left in the fridge.

2. Wet towels left on the bed after a shower or bath. I can see the mold forming in my duvet.

3. The sound of people (namely my poor hubby) eating. Don't sit next to me on the couch and CHEW!

4. Having to shop at Wal-mart or Superstore and then specific items that I am there to buy are out of stock.

5. Stepping on my child's Leap Frog refrigerator magnets that he loves to leave on the floor.

6. Answering the phone, excited to have an adult conversation, and it's just a telemarketer!

7. When my son, whom I love and adore, uses his whiny voice ALL day long.

8. The instant that I start washing the dishes or mopping the floor, my nose itches.

9. When I am driving and the child is having a melt down because he dropped his sippy, and I can't reach it.

10. When my husband, whom I love and adore, forgets to rinse out (with soap) his day old, empty lunch containers. I cannot handle the smell!

Feel free to add to my list!!

Wordless Wednesday

*The Christmas photo is in honor of all you crazies out there who decorate the day after Remembrance Day. Crazy people, I tell you!

Not Me Monday

(did not...read: might have, probably...most certainly did. "Not me"...read: ok, so it was.)

*I did not leave Eli alone to devour a croissant for lunch while I did not sit and play on Facebook. I did not clue into the fact that criossants are very crumbly, and I most definitely did not proceed to vacuum my hooverphobic child to clean him off after he rubbed the entire crumbly mess all over. It was not me who vacuumed his hair, face, shirt, pants and bum. I did not ignore his hooverphobic screams. NOT ME!

*It was not me who sprayed my child's pants (while wearing), with Febreeze after I changed his dirty diaper yet the stench still lingered in the fabric. It was not me whom was too lazy to just put on a new pair of pants. NOT ME!

*I most definitely did not eat ALL of my sons special bag of Halloween treats from the YMCA's childcare ladies on the drive home from the gym. It was not me who told him they were 'Yucky' while he ate his organic energy bar. NOT ME!!

Do I look fat in this?

So, I've decided I believe in evolution. (gasp!)
It's ok, Mom. I don't necessarily believe that I came from a bump on a log in the bottom of the primordial soup. But I do believe that over the past millions or thousands of years, people have evolved and adapted to their specific environments. How do I know this is true? Well, a majority of my heritage is from Russia. Freezing cold, snow without the Christmas, Arctic Circle... Russia.
Genetically they have had to adapt to this climate, their bodies developing a permanent layer of protection (fat) against the cold. It's quite amazing actually, how our bodies evolve to protect us from our natural environments. Unfortunately for me, I live in North America. Yet, I still have the protective (naturally fat) genetics. A lot of my time and energy is spent fighting my bodies natural way of storing calories. Perhaps this explains why if I were to eat only what my body (emotions) wanted, I could be in serious trouble with the Body Mass Index. (Which really, is a completely ridiculous standard... just because I'm short doesn't mean I don't have heavy bones. Yeesh).
All this to say, I have to be very creative in finding ways to satisfy my genetic desires for rich, comfort foods in order to survive in North America. Everyone loves Alfredo sauce on their pasta, but not everyone's genetics allow them to eat it on a regular basis. I have found an amazing recipe from Kraft that combines the richness of Alfredo sauce without increasing my Muffin Top.

Smarter Fettuccine Alfredo

300 g (1/3 of 900-g pkg.) fettuccine, uncooked

1-1/4 cups 25%-less-sodium chicken broth

4 tsp. flour

1/3 cup (1/3 of 250-g tub) PHILADELPHIA Light Cream Cheese Spread

3 Tbsp. KRAFT 100% Light Parmesan Grated Cheese, divided

1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

1/8 tsp. pepper

2 Tbsp. chopped fresh parsley

COOK pasta as directed on package.

MEANWHILE, combine broth and flour in medium saucepan. Stir in cream cheese spread, 2 Tbsp. of the Parmesan cheese, the nutmeg and pepper; cook 2 min., stirring constantly with wire whisk until mixture boils and thickens.

DRAIN pasta. Toss with sauce. Sprinkle with remaining 1 Tbsp. Parmesan cheese and the parsley.

Just to add to the fabulousness of this dish, while the sauce is thickening, and the pasta boiling, I like to quick-fry shrimp and fresh garlic in a little EVOO. It is a perfect addition to an amazing pasta dish. I also saute a little fresh garlic in the saucpan, then add the flour and broth. The more garlic the better!

Serve in big bowl with a big side of salad, just to make sure you are getting your 8-10 servings of fresh veggies. Enjoy!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Not that anyone really cares.

So as a tribute to my super fabulous friend Bspot*... Here is my "Wordless Wednesday"






*An alias... but her blog is super cool : http://beckywspot.blogspot.com/